My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
