Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
