Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i can't believe i had my finger in that
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
