i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
