He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
