She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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