I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
