Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
