we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I need to align my fucking chakras
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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