I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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