she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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