I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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