I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
