She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize