Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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