On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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