I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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