Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
