shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Someone signed my nipple.
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