Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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