yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
