i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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