just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
