oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
