spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Randomize
