thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
