Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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