now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
