what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Randomize
