so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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