So drunk its hurt
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize