i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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