Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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