he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Alive.
So much puke
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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