Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I met the friendliest cop last night
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
