Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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