i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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