He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
