So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I take back everything I said about communal showers
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I want to be your penis for a week.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
