no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
