sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
