Cold hands, warm shart.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Still dying that you shit outside
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
