she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Randomize
