You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
