if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
