hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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