I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
