What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
