What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
