I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
