Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
