do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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