Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
