The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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