dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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