You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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