Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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