hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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