if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
