so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
