I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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