Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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